thrifted

after airea d’s etymology

I am part

ocean, part

continent (al) shift

a consonant short

of joined names --

julia anne

straddles stars, blinking

over land masses parsed by Atlantic and oceans,

holding hands but too afraid to kiss.

I am thrifted pants,

and gifted top

covered in overcoat that was used a dozen times then one day haplessly thrown into a donation bin.

I am my sister’s old rainboots

I am lipstick stains

and I am the overcoat and the donation bin.

I am the clothes I browse but never buy

I am my mother’s child

looking through her wardrobe for a necklace she’s worn since I’ve known her

(since she’s known me)

because I am

the same sweater she has worn for twenty-one years.

she never buys new clothes

it’s me always

I never do.

I am ابنة دربوكة 1

stirring hearts and hands

دربوكة 2 means to strike, like to (1.a) make one’s way or to go, to proceed --

I am striking

like a stream, (1.c) of a stream, to run, or to flow

(1.d) to pass, or to go

or (2.a) to proceed in a new direction; to turn in one's journey across (ocean), down (family line), over (language barrier), into (prosperous country) to (opportunity… America!) etc. also used with aside, in, off, out.

Even though I am thrifted

I strike

beats from my pulsing chest

wishing for a طائرة 3 to be take me / make me

able to blink my eyes over the blue blue --

I strike gleams of sweat on skin under Mediterranean sun,

Mer Méditerranée striking a boundary path between Carthaginian rubble

and the Karlstejn castle

making my body light & making my hair curl like my grandfather’s uncle,

making me a true Tunisian fille. I am 10,000 miles away

and still mourn the loss uncles and 4 عمة and seas

I might

never

see

1. daughter darbuka

2. darbuka

3. plane

4. eamas (aunts)